Which Toss Bag is Right For You?
Standard corn bag- Do you even play cornhole? If you’re playing cornhole with a standard corn bag you obviously are a child or you just suck at cornhole and don’t want to invest in a real bag like an adult. I must confess that the corn bags provide considerable girth and a chunky feel in the hand that I find most pleasing but that’s a whole different discussion. As a man that knows his way around a cornhole, I know that feel is everything, which is why we’ll move on from the corn bag and on to the pellet filled storm bags.
Storm bag- The storm bag is great for the person who wants to pretend to be good at cornhole but couldn’t commit to the pro bags. The storm bags are less chunky and provide a smoother feel in the hand. The storm bags offer a pleasant smoothness that will summon quiet moans of delight from anyone handling such a satchel, or at least it does from me! The storm bag cornhole toss bag is a step up from the corn bag but it’s no pro bag. Don’t fool yourself… you’re corn bag quality at best.
Stick and Slide Bags- Oh so you think you’re better than me? Every time an order for pro bags comes in, It means I have to walk 40 extra feet to get to them and pretend I’m proud of you for being a “pro” so you better have a good reason. Pro cornhole toss bags provide a silky softness and weighty smoothness that really gets my cornhole juices flowing and it will surely get you juicing too. These bags offer a two tone design and soft finish that is down right sexy. When I rate women, I rate them on a scale of corn bag to pro bag. My current girlfriend is imaginary so let’s say she’s a pro bag even though we both know I’m storm bag material at best. If you’re a real cornhole player (which you’re not) and need a bag that is up to your standards, the pro bag is for you.
Competition Tournament Bags- these damn bags will make you question your sexuality! I have only handled about 5 different sets of stick and slide bags in my life but each time is a special moment. The sticky side provides a level of friction so sticky you’ll need to lotion up your cornhole to see one of these bags slip in. The other side offers a silky slipperiness that slides into wherever it damn well pleases with or without permission. The stick and slide bag is a whole new level of cornhole. These bags are better than you and there better than me. This bag isn’t for you and to be honest, I don’t even know if they really exist. Rumor has it, a set of these babies got shipped out in 1998 which is at least 15 years before they even existed. Ponder that next time you’re sitting on the shitter!